Is That a New Name For It?

At the University of Amherst in 1982 and 1983 I was a Peer Sexuality Educator. I had gone through two semesters of training and was ready to support my peers relative to their exploration of healthy sexuality. It was during this time that both the source of cold sores was revealed and HIV and AIDS. It was a busy and shocking time to be learning and educating college students about sex and sexuality. I was also a very interesting character to be someone who was attempting to do as as I was raised Catholic, attended a Catholic elementary school and pledged to not have intercourse until I was married. I also has begged God during sixth grade in many promising prayer sessions to not give me my period. I vowed to God that if he did not give me my period then I would become a nun. I am not a nun.


Skip to many years later as a youth adviser and sexuality educator for youth. I have spent countless hours looking up answers to anonymous questions placed in the question box, dealing with youth's anxiety ridden gender orientation concerns, and educating parents so that they can be the primary educators of healthy sexuality for their children.

Comfortably exploring sexuality is an invaluable choice of using one's time, attention, and money. All humans have some form of sexuality and the diversity of sexual interests, desires, and norms vary greatly. The most important aspect of sexuality education from my perspective is to focus on the openness to discussion, learning, and appropriate experiences that people must have in their lives. Repressing sexual energy can cause many unhealthy issues in the body, mind, and spirit. Shame, embarrassment, and lack of validation as a sexual being can really limit the fullness of our life experience. This blog is about sharing information and having fun while doing it to offer you a sense of normalcy to sexuality in your life.

Sexuality topics and information is every changing, just like most other aspects of the human life experience. It is important for me as an educator to stay on top of the latest medical information, fads, and language. In the curriculum of one of the youth sexual education programs that I have facilitated there is an activity in which the boys and girls are divided into groups by gender. They are given markers and poster paper to list all of the names and terms for parts of the male and female genitalia and female breasts. Most names have been around since I was young, and then there are some new ones and a few real doozies!

When my daughters were in high school and college I would ask them to keep me in the loop of any new sexual terms. I wanted to stay as "hip" as I could on the slang end of the sexual revolution. They always had the freedom to speak about sexual topics with me and I noted all the evolving ideas and words, sometimes needing to ask them for clarity. While sexuality education can be very serious business, it also can be quite hilarious.

One Saturday I was visiting my oldest daughter in Amherst while she was in college at UMass. We did our fall excursion to Atkins Farm and grabbed a dozen apple cider donuts. We left the farm and we were cruising back to campus, an apple cider doughnut in each of our hands, when I stopped for gas. I tossed my purse over on to my daughter's lap as I opened the door to pump the gas.

"Mom!" she exclaimed, rather annoyed, "you put your purse on my doughnut!"

I stopped for a moment and noted this information. Then I responded. "Oh, is that a new name for it?"

She looked at me blankly.

"For vagina" I clarified. "Are you guys calling a vagina a doughnut now?"

My daughter looked at me both with pity and aggravation. "No, Mom!" she firmly responded while she lifted my purse off of her lap. "You put your purse on my DOUGHNUT!" and there sitting on her lap was a now squished Atkins Farms apple cider doughnut.

So away we go...